On-line Assignment Results

Critiques by David Teetsel

Bobbi-Jo
In this project I think she could of made her words a different size to give her project a focal point. By looking at her project I believe she was trying to make hardworking her focal point, she could of made this word larger than the others to make it stand out as her focal point. I think she could have used a little better difference in value between her words. The value in strong, determined, and intelligent seem be to similiar to me I would consider changing the value and make each one a little more different. I think one thing she could do with one of the words she chose is maybe use repititon with hardworking and sort of fade it out in the back. That way it would sort of look like it was jumping out of the computer at you.

Bobby
In this project I believe he needs to make a choice between sick and tired of which one is his focal point. To me his focal point right now is the & sign which really isn't one of his words so I think he needs to make one of them his clear focal point. In doing this he needs to change the value in one of them to make the focal point more easy to notice. I think that he could change the size of tired, sick, and stressed. They all look to similiar in size to me in order to make his focal point stand out he needs to make one of the words larger than the other two. One word he could of changed was distant, I like the way he repeated it. I think he could of repeated it more throughout the project and sort of make it look distant because it was lurking in the background.

Mike B
I like this project overall, but I believe there is a few things that could be done to make it even better. First off I believe he is trying to make outgoing his focal point I would increase the size of it to make it stand out even more as his focal point. The next thing I would do is try to make it a clearer distinction of where the person's eye is supposed to go after funny. To me I go from outgoing to funny them I am kind of uncertain if I am supposed to go to leader or motivated. I would maybe change the value of them or increase the size in one or the other. I think I would make leader my third focal point because your eye moves from outgoing and curves into funny and that leads you right into leader which could lead you right into motivated. It would give the project more rhythm. I think if he switched the order of funny so that you read it the other way, it would help the rhythm. I also would make the value on quiet a little lighter and repeat it a few more times throughout the project. When I think of quiet I think of someone always lurking in the background.

Annie
In this project I would change the value between laid back and emotional. To me emotional is her last word she is trying to express, but it stands out from laidback because it has a darker value. I think in doing this it would give her project better rhythm because my eye moves from artistic to friendly optimistic then to emotional it sort of skips laid back. If she changed laidback somehow it would give the project the rhythm it needed. Another thing she could do with those same two words is make the size different between the two. I think I would make the value lighter on emotional and make the back part of laid back smaller. I would also make the value darker on the laid part of it. This would help her express laidback a little better.

Sandra
In this project I think she could change the size between happy and clever. To me they both look the same neither one of them stands out before the other one. I think by changing some of the value in her project she could give it the more rhythmic flow that it needs. After her focal point of artistic the rest of the project looks all too similar to me. She needs to change the other four words up a little to make your eye move more smoothly from one word to the next. By looking at the value of her project I think hardworking is her second point, so I would first increase the size of artistic and then I would increase the size of hardworking to give make the second point in her project stand out from the other four.